2020 Retrospective

It would be easy to focus on the things that didn't go as planned this year (i.e. most of it). We've all had our lives turned over. But I'm going to try to focus on the positive for my retrospective. Start as you mean to go on and my focus this entire year and into the next has been a focus on the positive.

Lady Vivienne

Indy doing yoga

My family grew this year. My 3rd nephew, Dawson, was born in August, healthy and strong. My sister continues to do well despite the disruption of COVID as a teacher and her husband being an essential worker (if your power is on, thank a lineman). I have a new kitten and she has brought us much joy. Indy continues to truck along, an old boy now. at 13 He's as healthy as a geriatric dog can be and still has the energy to get his nightly walk. My girlfriend and I have grown closer during quaruntine and gotten through it together. 

I hit my 2 years at Humana this month. Since January, I've been in a great role as a process consultant. My team is fantastic, people I really enjoy working with. The role was designed as work from home, so I didn't have to change modes when the Humana workforce was moved home. It's been an honor to work for a company that has taken the health of both their employees and the members so seriously. Watching their efforts to offset secondary effects of the pandemic - food insecurity, isolation, extra costs - has been incredible. And the fact that Humana is doing well means I can afford to support others is less stable situations, which has been a habit I hope to maintain going forward.

After 19 years and countless hours worked, I left the org after the behavior of their Board showed that they were taking actions to avoid being held accountable. I am always willing to help a group grow and do better, but when the leadership shows itself to be unwilling to change and to be taking active efforts to punish those pushing for change, I will not give them my time and energy. It was an easy choice, in the end, and I haven't regretted a day of it. Along with this came several people showing their true colors. Removing their toxicity from my life has been a joy and I am grateful to them for making it so easy.

This has freed up my energies for other, purposeful hobbies and we've been choosing carefully. It's been toes in thus far, given the pandemic means most groups are limited in their ability, but I'm happy with the choices we've been making. I expect to see this grow as gatherings resume in 2021.

At the very beginning of the year, I found a yoga studio I love. While my ability to practice in studio has been limited by the pandemic, I've been able to support them as they develop an online presence. Even better, I've made a close friendship with the owner, who happens to also be a fantastic person. A very unexpected but very welcome surprise for the year.

Jennifer's brother moving to Phoenix has brought family and the prsence of a toddler, which has been a wonderful experience for us. Having her around and getting to be aunts is so much fun. One of the most important relationships in my life is with my aunt and I'm glad we're getting to develop something similar with her. Her parents are lovely people and having this family unit locally has been a true joy.

Also, the Dodgers won the World Series. Just needed to make sure that was recorded.

We have been exceedingly lucky this year and I am grateful for it. 

And the family grows again

On Monday, my father's birthday, my sister gave him the most amazing birthday present...she gave him a second grandson.

Isn't he beautiful? I am happy to report that he has reddish hair and blue eyes. He might keep neither but I'm calling it a win. Dillan John was born at 7:13 pm CST in McAlester, Oklahoma. He's 7 lbs, 2 oz (my prediction) and 20 inches long. His mother is a champ - three pushes and he was out. Dad and I, exiled to the waiting room, barely got settled and I got the text from Mom "He's here!"

Kellie said "Dylan" didn't look right when she wrote it, so she went with "Dillan". John is our father's name. I think it's a wonderful tradition - Dalton's middle name is Glenn, his father's middle and paternal grandfather's first name, and now Dillon has his maternal grandfather's name. I guess they're going to have to go out another generation for other boys, but then we get into Odus and Olan....there is a George and Harry, so there's hope.

Our family has grown again, and it feels so much larger than one tiny baby. His brother thinks he's still inside and says "Baby" when pointing to my sister's stomach, while petting his brother the same way he pets his dog. He'll figure it out, and he gets to go through his life with a little brother, who will be the bane of his existence as well as the most amazing friend of his life. My relationship with my sister is the best thing my parents ever gave me. I hope the boys will feel the same way.

Relationship Role Models

So I mentioned in yesterday's post the relationships that I admire. I think relationship role models are important. They give you an idea of what you're looking for, of what it takes to make that happen. They create a realistic expectation. An example:

My primary relationship role model is my parents' marriage of 35 years. Before I knew what it entailed, it set some unrealistic expectations. They got married as kids (they were 17 and 20) and have stuck together this long and raised two kids. It's part of why I got married the first time - I thought that, at 20, I was losing time. Double that when I think that my mother's oldest child (me) was 9 when she was my age. I have felt behind.

But what they taught me, my parents, is the value of fighting for it. That sometimes, one person does the majority of the lifting while the other person coasts, and that it will even out in the end. They had a rough go of it, in part because they were children when they got married and hurt each other a lot without knowing it. But at some point they decided that they were going to fix it, and they did. They let my sister and I see how hard it was, but that it was worth it. Because if it's not worth fighting for, it's not worth the time.

I try to imagine how hard it would be to not have that example growing up. I saw it everyday of my life, so I know it's hard, but that it's worth it. But if you grew up not going that, not seeing that...how do you know what you're supposed to do, how good it can be? Who do you look to for advice? If you're lucky, there are others in your life who can demonstrate that for you. How can someone create a somewhat realistic expectation of a relationship if they don't know what one is supposed to look like? They might look elsewhere, develop the mentality that it's not possible, or create unrealistic expectations. If your only example is what you read in books or see in movies...how do you know?

I have often said that I'm lucky to have been raised the way I was. Lately, that's been more apparent than usual. And I'm thankful for it, despite the problems it can cause.

Rain on a Tin Roof

My parents own 300 acres, as seen recently in the Asher post. Kellie and I were talking about the future and we decided we really want a cabin out there that will hold the entire family (which is growing rapidly) and will be a place where kids can hang out. The current hunting cabin only sleeps 8 and is not kid-friendly. So we started mentally designing and planning the Asher Cabin.

We envision it being built on the flat spot over the big pond that my parents chose when they considered living on the property. We see a large, open downstairs with a kitchen area, dining area (large table), fireplace (maybe two), and sitting area. Lots of windows, probably east facing so that it gets warm in the winter, with storm shutters so we can protect the glass and block out sun in the summer. There would be stairs to a loft, where half walls will divide beds (reserved for adults always).

There are challenges to this. Running electricity out that far is expensive (we have electric on the main road, but we'd have to run it in and only the first two poles are free), so we'd have to plan for, initially, no electricity (though possibly a generator). Plumbing also doesn't run out there, so we'd have to plan for no running water, including toilets. But eventually, we could add a septic tank and maybe drill a well (we have several natural springs). It'd be a bit rustic to start, but it's the middle of the woods, what do you expect?

Kellie and I talked about the added bonus after mom and dad are gone - we'd have a "family home". Big enough to accommodate both our families, we see Christmas trees (we cut ours from Asher anyway) and fires and lots of kids and, someday, grandkids. We even timelined the building of it (my dad always says for anything that's happening, he's got a daughter with a list and a daughter with a plan). Our parents are preparing to expand their house (three additions), so after that's done (we're calling it 18 months even though dad says a year) then we can start actually laying plans. By then, we should all be able to pitch in, so it's three households helping pay for it instead of one.

Last night, I fell asleep to the sound of rain on my sister's metal roof. I think we should have a metal roof at the Asher Cabin, just so we can sleep to the sound of rain on it.

And we'll even let the hunters use it when we're not there...

Unexpected Joy

Tonight, my parents went to the 70th birthday part of a member of my parents' Sunday School class, Floyd. I've met him and his wife, Becky, before at church and at a few get-togethers at my parents' house, but I don't know them very well. I could tell my mom wanted to spend more time together (we got our nails done and poked around antique stores this afternoon) and that they expected to not know a lot of the people there. Floyd is a car enthusiast (he drove his Edsel) and his car club was most of the people there. So I went, mainly to keep my parents company.

No need, of course. My parents never met strangers (my sister and I come by it honestly) and enough of their Sunday School class was present that they were kept socially happy the entire time. I settled in to ignore people after wishing the birthday boy happiness, only to be bombarded by his wife (who might be one of my favorites). Soon I was talking to people there about tracing family lines, NYC, and other various topics. We stayed around after everyone had left to help clean up and chat with Floyd and Becky.

It struck me, later, how something I had no interest in doing produced some beautiful moments. An elderly couple told me how they were both from OKC, but he had moved to California as a child. Incredible happenstance brought them together, back in OKC as young adults. His parents were welders during WWII. His mother was so small, they put her in the tight places to weld since she could fit. We discussed how my maternal grandfather couldn't join because he was so small, all his uniforms would have had to be custom fitted, so he made A26 Invaders in Tulsa, where he met my grandmother, who was a wing inspector for the B24 Liberator made in the same factory. It was just a lovely moment.

So we go to things we don't care about, but if we go with an open mind, sometimes we'll leave with a beautiful new moment.

Time with Sister

Proof that Oklahoma has hills.

I spent today and yesterday with my sister, her son, and her husband at their house. They've got 10 acres and it's just beautiful out there. They've got a large creek and pond, which floods their pastureland, but their house is on a hill so they don't have to worry about it flooding their home. Lots of trees and space for them to have a large vegetable patch.

Once she finished work today, we went to the coffee shop, which is a really cool locally owned place that outlasted Starbucks (and also made the best chai latte I've ever had) and chatted. It was nice to get to talk and relax - and the little man was an angel. We talked about perceptions and how meeting people does amazing things to change that. For example, anyone who went to Basic Training at Ft. Sill knows that Oklahoma is not flat. The three counties of the panhandle are, but the rest of it is foothills, mountains (little ones, but still mountains), and lots and lots of water (the most man made coastline in the country). The dirt, however, is red and will stain your clothes. That's true.

We also talked about the idea that exposure reduces the harsh opinions of other groups. People are people, whether they be straight people, gay people, black people, white people...I explained the idea in the gay community that if everyone were to come out to their families, it would go a long way in reducing the hate that comes with the unknown. It's so much harder to hate all gays when that includes your child. That doesn't make it easy, certainly, and I understand the fears. But Kellie seemed to get the concept and we talked about gay marriage and such.

I remember when my sister asked me how it's possible for it to be okay to be gay. She was in high school, barely, and encountering the issue for the first time. What she wanted to know was how to reconcile it with the Bible. I set her up with a dear friend of mine who answered her questions, someone who was gay and had studied the issue. Living with me in DC, she got her first exposure to members of the community, rather than just individuals. And she came out of it with an incredibly mature understanding that people are people and you have to love all people, you can't pick and choose. It makes me so very proud of her.

Learning From Our Elders

Today, my Grandma Jeanne called from California. She and I are pen pals and normally write letters. But today she called to say she got my most recent letter and that, though she knew it must have been hard, she was proud of me for walking away from something I didn't think was going to work and for trusting myself.

My grandmother has been married twice. The first time was to my grandfather, with whom she had four sons. He left when my dad was 14, leaving my grandmother with 4 sons between 7 and 14 to raise on her own. And she did, rather fantastically.

The second time was to a man I remember, but his name eludes me (that should say something). It was brief. I don't know the details since I was a child, but I know he was not a good man in the end.

For the last 20 years or so, my grandmother has been dating Roy. Roy is a good man. Grandma seems to like that he has his own house that she can send him to when he bothers her. They go camping and have joint parental custody of a German Shepherd named Sadie, and generally seem to enjoy each other a great deal. But it's clear to everyone that she has no desire to get married again.

Of her four sons, one of them is divorced. My Uncle Thomas' divorce was the example of a civil divorce and he and his wife, my Aunt Cindy, stay in close contact as they raise their two children. Thomas remarried a few years ago to a lovely woman who is now part of their - slightly odd - family.

I am the only divorced grandchild, but most of them are under 18 still, so there's time. Her parents were married forever.

Basically, my grandmother has a lot reasons not to trust marriage. But more than that, I think she is proud of me for not making a mistake she did - of knowing something was a bad idea and going through with it anyway. I think she wants me to get married (she loves great-grandbabies, having two already) and wants me to be happy and have a family, but she never wants me to suffer like she did.

My Grandma Claudia, who passed in December, was practically a saint. My sister and I said repeatedly during that time that she died without anyone being able to say a negative word about her. Grandma Jeanne is less of a saint...and I think I'm going to learn a lot more from her as an adult.

I Hope You Have One Just Like You

Truth - I am terrified of having a daughter. Specifically, I'm terrified she'll end up like me.

Not like me in personality. I'll take a few difficult teenage years in the name of producing a daughter who's strong and has her own personality. That's fine.

And not like me in looks. May she be so lucky (okay, the fair skin is a lot of work, but come on...)

No, I'm worried she'll inherit all the medical crap I deal with. She has a 50% chance, theoretically*. But the pain that I deal with - how is passing that along love? What gets me through this idea is this:

1. Medical science is awesome and while I have no faith in them making enough strides to help me out, she might benefit.

2. My sister is 100% healthy despite us coming from the same gene pool.

3. I have a lot of awesome girly knowledge and goddaughters, nieces*, and gay sons just won't do it all.

So hope (or embryonic gender selection, which is better than hope) for a daughter someday is a go. A very scared go.

* The medical community theorizes that endometriosis is genetic, and my mother having it indicates that might be the case. We also think her mother had it, but grandma didn't discuss such things. No one has a clue about the fibro since they can't even agree on what it is or if it exists.


* If my sister ever gets around to giving me a niece...with our luck (and history) it'll be all boys.

My Version of Grandma's Obituary

Grandma died around 5 a.m. on 12/27. As I had suspected, Death was a friend and she slipped away quietly and without fanfare. I like to think that Grandpa was waiting for her and I did ask her to put in a good word should she see him since we never met. The funeral and burial is on Thursday.

My version of my grandmother's obituary would look something like this:

Claudia Marie Ammons nee Cowan was born in Jay, Oklahoma in 1924 to a spirited woman. Due to her father being a bit of a louse, Claudia's mother took her to live with her parents and went to work to provide for her child. She remarried and proceeded to have several more children, most of whom were adults before they were aware that their eldest sister had a different father. During WWII, Claudia worked in a factory building planes, where she met the love of her life, George M. Ammons (1916-1979). They married on Christmas Day 1947 and attended college together at Oklahoma Baptist University. They later adopted a son, Randy, and had two daughters, Trisha and Georgianna. Claudia followed George to California to take a position as minister at the First Baptist Church of Fontana, where they would remain until he died. Claudia worked as church secretary while raising their children.

Following the unexpected death of her husband, Claudia moved to Shawnee, Oklahoma where she and George had bought a house and planned to retire. She worked as preschool teacher for Immanual Baptist Church, where she taught a generation of children who would always speak of her fondly. Being a small woman, she had trouble changing her light bulbs, but found help in the nice Jehovah's Witness boys who came to her door. She worked to convert them as they assisted her. She never sat jury duty because she was certain the accused had some good reason for their crime.

Claudia passed away suddenly on December 27th. She is survived by three children who adore her and their spouses who are grateful for such a warm mother-in-law, as well as 7 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren, all of whom she held in her arms as babies (including the one who was just born). She is also survived her sister-in-law (and oft partner in crime) Ina and her own sister Betty, who with her husband Curtis also has many children and grandchildren who think of "Aunt Claudia" as a rare breed of woman that each of us could only hope to try to be like. Finally, she is survived by scores of church goers, community members, children now grown and random strangers who have been touched by her life in a positive way. She does not leave behind those who might speak poorly of her, because no such people exist. She approached each day with love and gentleness, and left behind a more loved and gentle world.

The Disillusionment of Us

On Thursday night, late, Grandma fell. It happens often since her knees and ankles are distorted. However, this fall was different. This fall led Grandma to say the words no one ever expected to hear from her lips: "I think I need to go to the emergency room."

In our family, we have a long history of medical stubbornness. My sister went into labor and went back to sleep. My mother's tumors had grown to the size of golf balls before she had them looked at (benign, by the way, this was over a decade ago). But no one in my family refuses to admit when she's in pain quite like my diminutive, pleasant grandmother. She had a stroke and didn't bother to tell us. But she has conceded to the use of the life alert system since, when she falls, standing back up is nearly impossible for her to do without help.

So, Aunt Trisha took Grandma to the emergency room. The pain was reportedly pretty terrible (Grandma rated it a 10, which is also astounding given her default answer is "oh, it's not bad") and the ambulance techs said they suspected a broken hip. The doctors at the local hospital confirmed, but said they didn't have an orthopedic surgeon n call and transferred her to OKC. By this time, Grandma was on morphine and assuring everyone that she'd be out of the hospital by the next morning. Being funny on drugs is also a family trait.

They scheduled surgery for a partial hip replacement at 7 Christmas Eve morning. We were all there to see her before she went in, then camped out in the waiting room to await the surgeon. Per usual, talk centered around books and psychology. The surgeon said everything went really well and most of us departed. Notes back from the family member on shift was very positive on Saturday...she was doing very well, lucid and active, other than being in pain from the surgery.

Christmas Day was another story. Grandma didn't recognize Aunt Trisha when she relieved Mom that morning. She needed a blood transfusion, but the surgeon said that was the case in 30% of cases and normal. They hoped the confusion would clear with the transfusion. No such luck.

On Monday morning, my parents woke me and said that they were leaving for the hospital immediately - Aunt Trisha had called and Grandma had taken a sharp turn for the worse. She suffered multiple massive heart attacks and slipped into a coma. By noon, Mom called to say that we needed to come to the hospital. She had 20% heart function and the doctor's had given her a 15% chance of making it through the night. Kellie and I packed up things for a lengthy hospital visit and joined our family in the city. One of her lungs collapsed while we were en route.

Mom and Aunt Trisha finally signed a DNR, which I felt was the right thing to do. After that, we all took turns rotating in an out. The nurses were very kind and let us ignore the visiting hours and the 2 person rule since neither my Mom or Aunt had any intention of leaving her side. The rest of us took turns reading Grandma the Bible (I had grabbed her husband's preaching Bible before I left the house), especially passages of joy and strength, holding her hand, telling our very sweet nurse stories about Grandma and camping out in the waiting room. My Dad can't handle hospitals and became the waiting room base commander. My great-aunt (my grandma's only living sibling) and her husband brought over good because in the South, we mourn through food. All 4 of their children (and their families) were in for the holidays, which hasn't happened since they all reached adulthood. They all went in to see "Aunt Claudia".

My Uncle Randy, Grandma's oldest son, as well as his wife and daughter hopped in the car and began driving from California. They gave their blessing to do what needed to be done, even if they didn't make it in time to say goodbye. My uncle is a firefighter and actually knows more about the medical side than anyone else in the family. He doesn't want her to suffer.

At this point they've weaned her off the epinephrine and it's a matter of time. Neither my mother or aunt will leave her side until it happens, despite each encouraging the other to get some rest. Kellie and Brandon have taken the baby home to rest and will be back with breakfast in a few hours unless we call them with news before then. Randy, Oksana and Liza will be here around 1 pm. Maybe she'll hold on long enough to say goodbye to her son. But even if she doesn't, she'll go knowing she was loved and that she made a difference in the lives of all those she knew.

It's the rest of the family I'm worried about. We have been lulled into a comfortable false belief that Grandma will live forever. She has outlived her own mother by over 10 years, as well as all but one of her siblings and one of her husband's siblings (and that's saying something - there were 18 of them in all!). But now we've been sharply forced into reality, into the world where, no matter how kind the person, time will eventually win. Death is part of life and you can't cover your eyes and say "I disbelieve". You can mourn the loss of their presence in your life, but to mourn the death of a woman who has had a long, full, joyful life and would remain in pain should she wake up is spiteful and selfish.

Grandma has always been a friend to everyone. I expect, in return, Death will be a friend to her and take her peacefully and without fight.

Baby Wright

This beautiful child is the most recent addition to our family. He doesn't have a name yet (they're working on it), but he and his mama are doing great. He's 7lb 5oz and 21 inches long. He totally looks like an alien, but Kellie assured me he will get cuter. ;)  I asked her to tell him not to grow until I get there so I can hold this tiny little bundle of adorable. And of course, this picture made me recall one of the best quotes from the West Wing:


"I didn't realize babies come with hats. You guys crack me up. You don't have jobs. You can't walk or speak the language. You don't have a dollar in your pockets but you got yourselves a hat so everything's fine."


That's my nephew. He doesn't have a name, but he has a hat. So everything is fine. 


Update: His name is Dalton Glenn Wright. Fabulous.

Such a nice day

Had lovely lunch today with Angel. It was so beautiful that we had our salads outside. She then took me shopping where we found some beautiful things for me and a few for Kyle. We then got an iced coffee from Starbucks. It was, in short, a wonderful afternoon.

Turkey is in the oven for dinner tonight. There will be dressing (at Kyle's request) and green beans - a mini Thanksgiving! I'm going to try to get the house cleaned up tonight so that I can spend all of tomorrow at the DMV if necessary. But, at the end of it, I should have Virginia plates and it will be one less thing to do when I move down.

Mom and Dad will get tomorrow night late and be here for the weekend. Sadly, Mom lost her dog Sasha, who they believe was eaten by a coyote. Heartbreaking. We're all sad but hopefully our dogs will do their part to cheer her up. We're looking forward to a fun weekend with them and introducing them to Va Beach and the family here. Very excited!

Eiland Reunion

I've been looking through the Eiland family reunion pictures that people have been posting on the Facebook page from reunions years past. First, I'm really tiny in some of them. There's a lot of familiar faces, some of which have associated names, and a lot of people I don't know or remember. I was a child when we went, so I mostly ignored the non-important adults, which includes everyone other than my parts, my grandfather, and my great-grandfather. I got a few spare aunts in the memory bank, but mostly, there's a lot missing. And unlike a lot of my family, we lived far away so we didn't also see each other for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

The reunion in is October every year and I haven't been in ages. I really want to go, though I'm not sure I'll be able to swing it. Looking at the pictures made me realize how much I've missed that family. I managed to reconnect with the cousins who are about my age via Facebook and I met up with Holly a few times while she was living in Va Beach, but it's not quite the same.

Another location

I'm back in New York this week and next doing slave labor for my father on the house. Today, I started recovering my room since the ENTIRE house is covered in sawdust. BUT - the hardwood floors look amazing and it only took one coat of paint to put my walls back in order in the bedroom. I can now clean it and call it done.

Spent about 3 hours at the VA today. Rheumo followup and they always run late, though today was a little later than usual. Thankfully, my doctor is very kind (and cute) and came out to tell me that he was running late and offered me the option of rescheduling. I waited. We had a lovely chat and he poked my muscles (owie) and joints. The determination was a medicine change once I'm back for good since he'll need to monitor the change. I'm suddenly excited to be back full time. The head rheumo agreed (sidenote: he's totally one of those people who just sits with me wrong) and we're good to go....in August.

Got my nails done, so I feel better. It's amazing the difference a pedicure makes. My toes are orange and my fingers are an ever practical light pink. Nice summer combo.

I miss my dog, who is hanging out in VA while we tear up floors and use loud things that would make him cranky. It's been raining since a freak storm rolled in yesterday, though we haven't had awesome thunder and lightning today. Hanging out with my dad and step-uncle has been fun, especially since I haven't seen the latter in probably 20 years. I love having a large family!

Family Ties

I have a gigantic family. Part of this is because my parents took a lot of effort to make sure that we actually knew our family, so none of it gets lost. This, plus large birthrates in my grandparents' generation, has produced a large family that spreads across the nation, though manages to miss out on the north east.

When I was young, I got to see what I call the "southern family" about once a year at the family reunion, which was centered around my great-grandfather's (Pap-Pap) birthday. Considering the distance from California to Alabama, this was quite a journey and always a treat. I had three cousins in particular who were right around my age and with whom I spent those trips. When I think of that part of my family, those are the first people I think of.

During the course of life happening, we went less and less. Pap-Pap died, as old men do, and our driving need to go to spend time with him fell off. My time got busy in high school and I didn't go all the time. My parents worked and couldn't always take the time off. Years went by.

Faceboook turned out to be a beautiful thing for my connection with my southern family and I reacquainted with those special cousins through that. The girls both have children, which I remembered my mom telling me about (she's the keeper of information in our family) but whom I'd never seen. And by lucky happenstance, one of those cousins lives in Va Beach and I've had a chance to meet her husband and beautiful little girl. The other two live in Gainesville and I'm hoping to see them when we visit. It will have been about 15 years since I last saw them.

Tonight, my cousin and her little girl in Va Beach were hit by drunk driver. Of course, I heard this from my mother. My cousins are alright - the mom came out of her car fighting mad, like any mother would. What amazed me is my own reaction. My heart stopped while I was reading mom's note until I got to the line "they're both alright". Logically, if someone had really happened, my mom would have called, so I didn't have much to fear, but there was that moment.

I've seen them twice and before that it had been nearly 15 years. I guess some family ties never fade.

Recap

I had a wonderful weekend. It would take up too much bandwidth to go through the whole thing, so the highlights (in chronological order):

1. A fantastic 5 hour conversation with my sister from New Jersey to Virginia Beach on my drive down.

2. Lots of fun on an afternoon spent with Angel having lunch and shopping (and a cute outfit from Mardy!).

3. A spectacular night out with Kyle in a hotel room that overlooked the water (in beautiful weather) and a delicious new restaurant.

4. Breakfast with Kyle's beyond cool cousins and their wives.

5. A productive afternoon of cleaning, which I didn't initiate.

6. Dinner at a really lovely locals only restaurant (seriously, it's in the middle of a residential neighborhood).

7. Lunch with one of my favorite couples and their beyond adorable baby, KET.

8. A relaxing evening watching movies with my love and hanging out.

9. A drive back enjoyed on the phone with my mother.

10. Dinner with a good friend who brought fabulous wine and test ran my ravioli (which he declared a success once we figured out how to make it not-stick).

Good? Absolutely! I'm tired and bed is calling me, but I am satisfied and happy. I have a Calc test on Thursday, so until then my life belongs to calculus, but I'm going into it in a great place.

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

Well, with the holidays and traveling, I haven't been able to post much. I was very lucky this week in that I hadn't planned to return to NY until Tuesday, so I missed the blizzard. However, less you think I was spared the joy that is snow in NY...

Tuesday evening, I was dropped off at the house and waded through knee deep snow carrying a suitcase to get into the house. I was supposed to leave this morning for VA to spend NY with the boyfriend, however the wall of snow between me and my car had other plans. Throughout the day I managed to clear the walkway (now I can get mail!), the driveway and the mountain at the end of the driveway caused by snowplows. However, my darling neighbors had been kind enough to snowblow the sidewalk for me so that I didn't have to do that as well. My back is killing me, but at least I worked off any calories from the last day or so. I'll drive down to VA tomorrow.

Christmas was fun. I saw a lot of family, some of whom it had been a very long time since I last saw. Got to spend a lot of time with my parents and sister. Kellie and I always find a way to connect every visit and reaffirm our very special relationship. Personal favorite though was seeing my beautiful godchildren, who are growing like weeds. The eldest in 9 and brilliant. Her parents and I were commiserating on how her being 9 makes us all feel old. I realized she'll be 16 by the time I am done having children. The other is 5 and the sweetest child who ever walked the planet. During Gulliver's Travels (which was actually really funny), he cuddled under my arm and apparently cried when I left.

Last year I decided to write letters more often and have established a wonderful pen pal relationship with my paternal grandmother. Since I rarely see her (she lives in Cali), it's been a great way for our relationship to be stronger. This year, in addition to that, I want to start writing the kids. The boy won't be able to write his own letters back yet, but his parents will help I'm sure. And then they can have something tangible from me (other than books - they get a lot of books).

A funny note to end on. When my sister told her husband (who is in Iraq) about meeting my boyfriend at Thanksgiving, he grew suspicious and protective. Of me! He has 3 sisters, so he's used to worrying after them, but he had decided to expand that to include me. Of course, once he meets the bf, he'll fall in love with him like everyone else, but in the mean time, he's suspicious. It's adorable. Pretty sure I'm not supposed to call him adorable, but if he gets to be a protective brother, I get to be a doting sister.

Happy Thanksgiving

In a few short hours, I will be heading to the airport. Oh yes, it's beyond absurd. But with the threats of holiday travel being ridiculous, I figure it's better to nap in the airport than miss my flight. So at 3 am, I will be leaving for a 6 am flight to Oklahoma via Chicago.

And I am excited.

I am so excited to see my family. To introduce them to my man, to let him meet them. To see my sister, who I haven't seen since she changed from Miss to Mrs. Sadly, her husband won't be joining us as he's spending the holidays in the sandbox. But we think of him often and fondly.

The flights are miserable - clearly no one important has ever had to fly between New York and Oklahoma or they would have done something about this. Also, JetBlue doesn't fly there, so double sad. The high (high!) is going to be in the 30s. But I don't care. I get to see my family. I get one step closer to adding the man I love to my family.

And that's what the holidays are about.