New Symptom, Old Problem

One of the difficulties of chronic medical conditions is that when new symptoms crop up, you can't always know if it's part of an existing issue, a complication of a medication, or something unrelated. This can be especially confusing when you have multiple chronic problems that have overlapping symptoms. Because of this, I spend a lot of time on WebMD.com. I also call my doctors often, but because my worst conditions cover three different departments (Gynecology, Rheumatology, and Psychology - my joint issues are pretty stable) getting a consensus can take more than one phone call.*

This morning, I woke up with the shakes. It's becoming more common, though they generally pass after an hour or so. I've noticed it happens more when my fibro is acting up, so I have reason to suspect it's related to that, though the way that other problems interact doesn't allow me to rule those out completely. The initial glance at WebMD.com suggests hypoglycemia, though I've always had good blood sugar. If that's the case, it's easily maintained and not a big deal, so I'll bring it up next time I go to the doc.

Doctors run into this problem too. When there's a mess of symptoms, it's hard to work out what's a result of what. This leads to a lot of "let's try this treatment and see if it works" kinda thing. My fibro went unacknowledged for over a year because it was hard to suss out from the Endo and PTSD. We did eventually (so. many. tests.), but this sort of thing is very common (as is over diagnosis). Medicine may be a science, but it's inexact at best. I feel very lucky that this was all done at the VA, where my doctors aren't incentivized to test and medicate me for the sake of the insurance payouts. The only medication I'm on regularly is the NuvaRing, which serves as a hormone regulator for the endometriosis, so we have one less variable. I'll reach a point where I'll need something for the fibro and I have Percocet for those days when the endo flares up, but the days of 20 pills are still (hopefully far) in the future (and in the past - we've walked that road before).


*I consider myself very lucky that the VA uses a unified electronic records system, so one doctor can review the records from another, which makes this less of an issue, but still annoying.

Three Kinds of Bad Days

I have three kinds of Bad Days. The worst is the Really Bad Day. Those are the days where I can't move, where I avoid drinking anything because it would mean having to go the bathroom, and that requires moving. Those are the days when even typing hurts and when thinking in nearly impossible. Those happen most often when it's cold or as a result of a Kinda Bad Day (see below).

The next is a Bad Day. This is a day where things hurt, walking is slow and achy, but I can walk and I can (mostly) function. My brain is a little fuzzy, but I can put together sentences. I shouldn't drive and I'm really bad at making choice decisions (a or b).

The least type is a Kinda Bad Day. I'm usually achy, and pain is present, but I can push through the day. The danger with this kind of day is that if I push too hard, I end up with a Really Bad Day the next day. Learning this lesson has been one of the hardest parts of accepting the new version of life that has become mine.

Today is a Bad Day. Slow to move, in pain, but I can function. I was able to watch my nephew (he hung out in bed with me) while his mom did some stuff, I just couldn't lift him above my head (no airplane) or get out of bed while holding him. I watched Tombstone, then moved to the front room, where I've been on the computer while laid out. I read everything I type three or four times to make sure it makes sense, I can't work on my thesis, and getting a cup of tea takes 20 minutes, but it could be a lot worse.

I Hope You Have One Just Like You

Truth - I am terrified of having a daughter. Specifically, I'm terrified she'll end up like me.

Not like me in personality. I'll take a few difficult teenage years in the name of producing a daughter who's strong and has her own personality. That's fine.

And not like me in looks. May she be so lucky (okay, the fair skin is a lot of work, but come on...)

No, I'm worried she'll inherit all the medical crap I deal with. She has a 50% chance, theoretically*. But the pain that I deal with - how is passing that along love? What gets me through this idea is this:

1. Medical science is awesome and while I have no faith in them making enough strides to help me out, she might benefit.

2. My sister is 100% healthy despite us coming from the same gene pool.

3. I have a lot of awesome girly knowledge and goddaughters, nieces*, and gay sons just won't do it all.

So hope (or embryonic gender selection, which is better than hope) for a daughter someday is a go. A very scared go.

* The medical community theorizes that endometriosis is genetic, and my mother having it indicates that might be the case. We also think her mother had it, but grandma didn't discuss such things. No one has a clue about the fibro since they can't even agree on what it is or if it exists.


* If my sister ever gets around to giving me a niece...with our luck (and history) it'll be all boys.

Getting Poked

Today I went to the doctor and had my rheumo followup. I like my rheumotologist. In addition to having a great bedside manner and being pleasant to talk to, he's very attractive. If I wasn't off the market...

Anyway! So we talked and decided to double my dosage of Cymbalta since I'm currently on a half dosage. We looked at some of my old films and he showed me the really cool films of my veins being illuminated. He went and got the attending, who is a small man that I don't particularly like, mostly because his suits don't fit him correctly and he has a weak handshake. He poked at me (they do that a lot in rheumotology) and then felt my glands. He wants me to go for a thyroid ultrasound. He said it's only a 50/50 shot that he's correct (isn't there always) but that he wants to check for Hashimoto's. Once he left, I grilled my doc about it and promised I don't get crazy about diseases I haven't been diagnosed with yet. He and I had a giggle over the fact that there's a category under the ultrasound menu called "Small Parts" and then again when we found thyroid under it.

I might be the only person in the world hoping to have an autoimmune disease. It would mean one pill a day instead of 3 and seems to cover a lot of symptoms. So we'll see what the ultrasound says.