Victorian Manners Test

This is fun!

http://www.mccord-museum.qc.ca/en/keys/games/game_0/

I took it as the female and got a perfect score - I'll try it as the male when it's not 2:30 in the morning. Take it and see how you do!

A Good Day!

Finally!

The weather was beautiful so I turned off the heat and opened windows to give my house a chance to air out a little. I got some cleaning and laundry done, as well as caught up on the ironing that has been building up. Knitting made some headway and I read for class tomorrow. No calculus, but hopefully some will get done tomorrow night.

I made rosewater out of the beautiful bouquet that Kyle got me for Valentine's (except the one that I pressed). I used the method from Care2 and it was pretty easy. I didn't remove the extract at small intervals and the initial amount was really strong, so I let it go awhile longer and got a slightly diluted form which I prefer. I left the pot on the stove (which was off) and let it perfume the house after I was done. Huzzah to a really good astringent and making use of something that would have otherwise gone into the trash. The remaining petals will be put in the flowerbeds outside.

Also watched the Oscars tonight (though I was on a delay to begin with because I got caught up in a Criminal Minds marathon and couldn't stop halfway through, so I DVRd the Oscars and got to fast forward through the commercials for most of broadcast). I wanted Hailee Steinfeld to win for True Grit, but Melissa Leo was so cute on winning that I couldn't be too upset. I also wanted Jennifer Lawrence to win for Winter's Bone (if you haven't seen it, go rent or Netflix it - it's amazing), however I knew there was no one who was going to beat Natalie Portman. And rightly so - Black Swan was utterly haunting. I hoped when she was thanking her parents that they would be shown so I could see her mom*, but I was disappointed.

My favorite speech of the night was David Seidler, the writer behind The King's Speech. His speech was funny and eloquent and seemed natural, rather than some of the forced humor in some speeches. I really loved his voice and it was just touching.

*Side note here: When I worked at Equinox, I had the distinct privilege of meeting (and signing up) Natalie Portman's mother. She was a classy lady who never once mentioned her daughter's name (she told me her daughter launched a line of vegan shoes, which she totally had) and was truly one of the nicest strangers I had ever met. I will never forget how sweet she was to me for the handful of months that I knew her and as much as I loved Miss Portman already, meeting her mother made me love her even more.

Putting my sickness to work

Another day of pain and thus, meds. There are certain things I can't do on medication reliably, such as studying or calculus, so I'm hoping I can do those things tomorrow. But it was sunny today so I was determined to do something. Yesterday was completely lost to sleep and that half awake space I get into when the percocet kicks in.

So today, I got some laundry folded and got some more laundry done. My biggest accomplishments were making tomato sauce for the rest of the week (or a couple, depending on my meals) and making a loaf of Moroccan bread. I cut the recipe, which should make two loaves, just to do the one since it's my first time. It turned out really well and I had some of it when it was still hot with butter and honey. It was delicious. I will probably need to make another loaf this week at some point since it turned out well and it certainly beats store bought bread. It doesn't replace sandwich bread, but that's why I want to get a bread machine someday.

I have this dream of getting to a point where more of the food I eat is freshly made. Pasta is really easy to make. I make my own sauces anyway, but expanding on that selection is good. Bread too, now that I know how. I already avoid store bought cookies (except Oreos, which are crack, and even though I've made Oreos before, it's not the same), so it's just a matter of expanding that. Knowing what is in your food is great. The Moroccan bread is flour, water, oil, yeast, salt and sugar. That's it. And I can name all of those ingredients.

Also, I finished the second of what I think will be a set of three washcloths for my sister. I've cast on and started the third, so I might get that finished this week. I don't have any major projects until I learn to do socks over Spring Break, so I may just knit up a bunch of washcloths in the meantime.

WC Lessons

Last night I covered a WC shift for another tutor. It was interesting - I knew I had a writer coming in for help right at the beginning because I met him on Wednesday and he insisted on seeing me again. Turns out I was completely booked the entire night. I worked with a girl who was trying to write a personal statement for law school and a woman who really just needed someone to listen to her go over her response to a reading - she self edited as she read and I didn't actually have to do much. We worked out some confusion issues, but she really did most the work.

Thankfully, I'm finding patience I didn't expect to have. It's hard not to just give them the answer, which we're really not allowed to do since our primary goal is to encourage critical thinking. But I'm learning how to ask leading questions. It's frustrating since some of them are really terrible writers and they're in college - they should be at least basically literate. But I think my time there will be well spent and the other tutors are nice to talk to. Several of them are graduate or post-graduate students and one of them got her PhD last week.

I didn't have anything to do today expect for the SVA (Student Veteran's of America) State Director conference call (I'm the NY SD). Which is good because it's been a pain day. So lots of tea, time on the couch and watching TV (I got caught up on Royal Pains) and snacking. Oh and knitting. Knitting has finally gotten done now that it's been rescued from Kyle's house. I have some things to get done this weekend, but mostly I think I'm staying home. I don't feel well and I can't risk getting sick and missing anymore school.

Fashion in the Writing Center

During my Writing Center shift this evening, I sat and chatted with the other tutor on duty, Barkley. He's starting grad school in the Fall for classical guitar and is older than the average student, having already completed his BA in English and now just completing a few courses to prep him for grad school. After our session with a girl learning to develop a thesis ended, chat turned to other interests, including short stories, television and, my favorite, clothes.

Barkley has the standard problem of having no idea where to shop or what to buy. He does, however, have an idea of how he wants to look. He likes the style in Mad Men (I am loving what this show is doing to our uber-casual generation) and particularly likes vests and hats. Huzzah, someone I can work with.

So we talked about what he should look for in a suit. He's broke, like most students of music, and his girl also wants to upgrade and refine her style, also on no money. I encouraged them to look at Target to build a wardrobe of basics and then upgrade as money allows. I explained that his shoulders being broad means he needs suits that fit there since tailoring shoulders is expensive and tapering waists are cheap. We talked about ideas for his woman, about stacked heels that are more comfortable for daily wear.

I forgot how much I enjoy talking about clothes and advising about fashion. With a few exceptions, I have very few chances to discuss it lately. I've missed it. So I'm thrilled for a project!

Recap

I had a wonderful weekend. It would take up too much bandwidth to go through the whole thing, so the highlights (in chronological order):

1. A fantastic 5 hour conversation with my sister from New Jersey to Virginia Beach on my drive down.

2. Lots of fun on an afternoon spent with Angel having lunch and shopping (and a cute outfit from Mardy!).

3. A spectacular night out with Kyle in a hotel room that overlooked the water (in beautiful weather) and a delicious new restaurant.

4. Breakfast with Kyle's beyond cool cousins and their wives.

5. A productive afternoon of cleaning, which I didn't initiate.

6. Dinner at a really lovely locals only restaurant (seriously, it's in the middle of a residential neighborhood).

7. Lunch with one of my favorite couples and their beyond adorable baby, KET.

8. A relaxing evening watching movies with my love and hanging out.

9. A drive back enjoyed on the phone with my mother.

10. Dinner with a good friend who brought fabulous wine and test ran my ravioli (which he declared a success once we figured out how to make it not-stick).

Good? Absolutely! I'm tired and bed is calling me, but I am satisfied and happy. I have a Calc test on Thursday, so until then my life belongs to calculus, but I'm going into it in a great place.

Rediscovering The Sound of Music

I grew up with The Sound of Music. I have known every word the music, the timing and the pacing since as long as I can remember. But it's been years since I watched it, maybe even a decade. I have seen it on stage, but I know the show so well, I never thought about how long it had been since I watched it.

My sister, in her wisdom, chose the 45th Anniversary BluRay version for my birthday present. It arrived today and I put it in. It's amazing what time will do to your perception of a film.

First, I forgot how long it is. This is why I'm writing this at 2 am - I just finished watching it. Heavens, but it's long. On a positive note, I didn't realize how late it was until I stopped watching the film, so that's a good thing.

There's so much I never noticed as a child. I never noticed how different the Captain is when he's with the Baroness and Max at the beginning of the film - how his tone and temper changes drastically from the way he addresses his children and Maria. His charming banter, as well as the Baroness' flirting and suggestion, completely went over my head before. That's a pattern, actually. The development of the relationship between Maria and the Captain is so much clearer when you've been through it yourself. I can see the looks and the moments that worried the Baroness - as well as her jealously, which I had never caught. I knew for some reason I didn't quite like her, because I think I knew that the Captain was supposed to marry Maria, so this woman was in the way, but the jealousy is rather subtly played, as is her victory attitude when she convinces Maria to leave. I still, however, found the same reaction to her comment about boarding school, which can't be typed in polite company. I just have better words for it now.

I also noticed how well acted this movie is. The music and the children were always my focus as a child, because of course I noticed and was interested in the things I could relate to. Also, the children are entertaining. But the awkwardness in the Captain when he goes to find Maria (after he and the Baroness have called it off in a rather adult way) - that is the awkwardness of a man who is interested in a woman and doesn't know how she'll react. I know that emotion, I've seen it! The attempt at being playful that comes across poorly - accurate. And her response (Something Good, one of my favorite songs) is so very real - what did I ever do to deserve this and how can I do it again? It's so touching and captivating when you have something to relate it to, rather than wishing they'd hurry up so we could get back to the kids.

Speaking of the kids, Liesl's attempt at and then dissolution of relationship with Rolph is very hard to watch. So beautiful when they have their first kiss - that tension and excitement. And then so very sad when it all crumbles and she realizes it fully. I think she handled it better than any 16 year old I knew...but then again, she is going on 17.

Small things I noticed too. For example, I know that the girl who played Gretl almost drowned in the scene where they fall in the lake. And sure enough, when the boat topples, she grabs on to the side and then is seen being carried to land. Everyone else is laughing - she's crying. It's only a second, but there it is. Apparently, the actress has been deathly afraid of water ever since.

So, yes, it was wonderful to see again. I had missed this movie, and a lot of other Rogers and Hammerstein films that I grew up with. Like I said to my sister, the hardest part about growing up is realizing you don't own any of your movies - your parents do!

American Rose: A Nation Laid Bare

The entire title of this is American Rose: A Nation Laid Bare, the Life and Times of Gypsy Rose Lee. Whew. Karen Abbott did a lot of research to write this 2010 biography of Gypsy Rose Lee. You may recall that Gypsy herself wrote an autobiography that was later turned into the stage and screen musicals of the same name. The problem with that was that Gypsy was a phenomenal editor of her own life. She, and others, considered her a storyteller and the story she wove the best was her own. Abbott gets into this in the introduction so that readers will understand why the Gypsy in her book is so different from the one Natalie Wood played.

And boy is she different. Gypsy was not a very nice lady, though she lived in a not terribly nice world. Rose is different too - her sister, June, talks about the revisionist history given to their mother. More than ambitious and driven, Rose is a parasite, a menacing and ruthless woman. No less than three murders are attributed to the woman. But it was Gypsy who said she could strip on that fateful night, not her mother. Gypsy was ambitious, just as ruthless and dedicated. No one can say she didn't work hard.

Abbott does her best to pull together a lot of information and dig out the truth from the miles of fiction. She uses primary sources (the entire last 1/8 of the book is references) and makes it clear where she's guessing at Gypsy's voice (it lacks quotations). You also get a look at the rise of Minsky and the changes in NYC from the 1920s through the 1960s. The book moves back and forth between the 1940s and early 1920s, then progresses until the two run into each other. You see Louise born, tossed aside and eventually brought back to center. You watch her terribly complicated and poisonous relationship with her mother, the different men in her life and her only sister.

In the end, I was very sad for Gypsy and the life she led. And for June. For pretty much everyone except for Rose. There isn't anything about her that makes me sympathetic, probably because of the way her children forever suffered for it, even after her death.

The book is excellent, really interesting. The woman led an interesting life, any telling of it would be interesting, but Abbott does a great job at making fact engaging. It's a tale of a different time and a truly complicated and amazing woman. Not a nice woman, not a kind woman, not a generous woman - but an amazing one.

A Darker Disney

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs aired on ABC Family tonight (followed by Enchanted, which I love) and I realized how very dark Disney animated films were. Kellie and I discussed Pinocchio in the same light - boys being lured to an island of eternal fun (including cigars!) and then turned into donkeys? That's some dark stuff.

Snow White has a Queen who tries to cut out Snow White's heart, a really ominous brewing of poisons (both the transformation one and the apple) and the Queen cackling about her being buried alive. She also falls off a cliff and gets squashed by a boulder.

So, once upon a time, Disney told stories that were dark and had actual scary elements to them. Even The Little Mermaid was not to nice - remember Ursula getting a schooner through her abdomen? It's hard to pinpoint, but I think the change came with Pixar. Beauty and the Beast, Alladin and The Lion King all contained pretty dark elements, though Scar wasn't nearly as scary as the previous villains. But Toy Story? Monsters, Inc.? Finding Nemo? Fantastic movies, but they lack the evil element.

What is the purpose of this? A different style of storytelling, certainly. But maybe it's a move towards realism. The reason for really dark elements of fairy tales is to scare children into behaving and to provide a really dark side so that the happy elements are that much brighter. But the dark elements in Cars is Lightning McQueen's own ego and some competition at the racetrack. More true to reality, but not nearly as dramatic. We do get a villain in The Incredibles, but it lacks evil.

I love the Pixar movies and own several of them. They are great movies. But I miss the evil and dark of the original Disney animated films.

Hibernating

I was supposed to drive up to Boston this weekend to see people, but I am exhausted. In the deep down, to the bone way. Add to that waking up feeling sick enough today that I had to miss training for the Writing Center and have to make it up next week. Finally, I have Calculus to work on (I missed class Tuesday for being stuck at the VA) and really can't afford to get behind. Since I'll be gone next weekend, I want to try to get as much done this weekend as possible.

So this weekend, I'm staying in. I can work on the house (it isn't that bad, I just need to vacuum and swiffer, really) and do homework. Get myself rested and refreshed. I think all the traveling in December finally caught up and floored me. I may go out for tea or just to get out, but the plan is to mostly hibernate and restore. I'm available by phone and I'm sure I'll be online - I'm not hiding, just resting.

NYC Cleaning House

Since I get the New York Times streamed to my Google Reader, I read a lot about New York City politics. I don't read most of it past headlines since a) I don't live in NYC and thus don't care much and b) I get the really big stuff from NPR. However, there has been a trend lately that I've noticed. The city has been cracking down on past due fines and such. Outstanding parking tickets were first and now I'm reading that they're pushing principals to make parents who owe for school lunches pay up (or else pull it from their budget elsewhere).

I support this. I don't always agree with the laws and the way they're implemented, but until they're changed, they are the laws. I think a speed limit on the interstate is silly if your driving is otherwise safe (full disclosure - I speed. Often. And a lot.), but when I get pulled over, I admit what I did and pay a fine. Why? Because I knowingly and willingly broke the law. So I can't get mad at the cop for doing his job.

What I don't understand is why the city had to be in a huge financial mess to start enforcing the laws. I recognize that some of them are costly to enforce (tracking down parking ticket violators is not fun or cheap), but it seems like the city has reallocated employees to these jobs rather than hiring new ones. This money could have been used elsewhere previously - that's why we have fines*. To pay for stuff! Roads, salaries, pensions, etc. I'm happy to see them getting their ship in order, but why did it take a hurricane to do it?

*Okay, and as a psychological deterrent. People are less likely to break laws that have a tangible punishment. This is why points systems on driver's licences works. You mess up enough times, it doesn't matter if you keep paying - eventually, you lose your licence. I admit that I have parked illegally at school (our spots are full of snow!) and done the "be on time vs $10 fine" conversation. Ten dollars was worth it. Got a ticket, paid it, moved on with my life.

Today's HC Debate

I have a meeting tonight at school, so I went to the Honors' Lounge to spend some time with a few of the people I have met and really like from the Honors College (HC). While we're sitting, chatting about our course loads and homework, a guy that we do not know came in and started telling us that our collective major (Psychology) was nonsense. That anyone who had spent some time with other people could do what we are spending our time and money learning how to do.

Oye.

One of the girls I'm sitting with is Tina, who I adore. Tina is very religious and very strong in her beliefs. I don't agree with her most of the time, but we have excellent conversations because she has learned about her beliefs and thought about them and is generally better educated in them than the average 20-year-old. The other Psych major is Eysana, who is a level headed, softer spoken young woman who I get to spend time with at Equestrian Club events, even if we never seem to have classes together.

Tina is not soft spoken. In fact, much like me, she wants her opinions heard when she has them and is quite loud in expressing them. Tina and I share a culture (her family is from a village near my family's in Sicily) and it happens to be a kind of loud one. And none of us take well to being told our major is a soft option, especially from some guy we've never met who is a Chemistry major. Chem majors are notorious for thinking they're superior (except for Ajay who is humbled and brilliant all at once). The conversation starts off hostilely because of this guy's body language, antagonistic attitude and judgmental statements. He says he's direct, I say he's a jerk.

The conversation goes all over the place - scientific standards in psychology, the applications of psychology, what we learned from the Nazi's and eventually into religion (which is where I bowed out). He manages to insult us all enough that even Eysana, who generally stays out of this kind of thing, tries to explain to him why he comes across as insulting. He didn't want to hear it. At the end of all this, he does some backpeddling and acknowledges his terms were incorrect in places (like comparing my joining the Army as the same as Nazis, when he meant to say that it was like those conscripted into the German Army - he was still wrong, but less insulting if he had used the correct term). He then says he plans to change his major for Chem to Politics because he likes to "debate".

This starts another conversation about debate and what it actually is (a reasoned presentation of facts in a manner that allows others to address your presentation) and what it isn't (an argument). Eysana points out that his body language would lose him a debate before he opened his mouth (which is psychology) and he dismissed her. If he plans to go into politics, he's going to either learn the value of psychology or he's going to fail miserably.

I was incensed, to say the least, but mostly I was disgusted. This is college - people are supposed to question and discuss. But why anyone thinks that opening a conversation with an insult is a good plan, I do not know. He also preached his pride in being from Pakistan and a Muslim, but then used his American name rather than his actual one, which I personally find hypocritical - especially since his actual name is not difficult to pronounce. If you doubt the value of psychology, which many people do and for good reason, every single psych major in the HC will discuss it with you calmly - I have a friend here in the HC with whom I have this conversation about once a quarter. He comes to the topic with respect and understanding that he is inherently ignorant of the topic, having never studied it. We talk, we disagree, and we remain civil. What this guy was doing was tossing out an insult and then claiming it was misinterpreted when people objected.

Then again, maybe he'll be perfect for politics.

The Red Tent

Angel lent me The Red Tent when I was down in Virginia. I wasn't familiar with the book, but I loved it! I read it in about 2 days and was sad to have to put it down for school. I was really swept away in the way the women related to each other, the stories they had to tell and, most importantly, the reexamining of the way that the Bible deals with women. There is comment made in an interview with the author that the Bible delivers facts and narrative, but leaves a lot out. This is certainly true and context is missing repeatedly from the Bible. So the idea that women used their 3 days a month away from the men as a time, not of shunning, but of bonding and rest, is amazing to me. That women got 60 days of recovering for birthing a daughter not because she needed longer away from the men because of her shame, but that she was given rest to honor bringing a birth giver into the world. The women of the time worked constantly, that's factual. The amount of work needed done to care for a large family was phenomenal and it's well illustrated in the book. So to have a few days where you don't have to do anything but spend time with other women, eat sweet bread and drink wine would have been a well needed break. Even now that seems like a great way to spend a weekend.

I also am really taken with the idea of the beginning of the menstrual cycle not as a beginning of the lifetime of pain, discomfort and irritation, but as a step into womanhood. The ritual nature of the way they brought Dinah into the arms of womanhood was beautiful.

I enjoyed the author's voice and the story of Dinah. I know that the author received a lot of criticism for the book from people who believed she overstepped in her interpretations and liberties, but I thought it was really respectful of the time. Several times in the book I was able to see what the men were doing (which was always seen from an outsider's perspective, i.e. Dinah) and relate it to biblical stories that I knew.

All in all, a really fantastic book. I called my mother when I was done and recommended it to her, as well as several of my friends. This will be one of those I read over and over.