Confessions of a Gleek

I am now officially caught up on Glee thanks to Kyle's Hulu Plus account. I know the show has lost its magic for some people, but it still speaks to me. The Santana/Brittney relationship continues to be beautiful to watch, especially seeing Santana deal with the very real reaction from her grandmother. But the story line that speaks to me the most is Emma's struggle with OCD. The show has done a really good job of addressing the struggles, stigmas and real challenges of mental illness though Emma's story, just as they have addressed other issues on the show. One of the things I like so much is that they didn't fix Emma with a pill and say it was fine. In the most recent episode, she refers to having good days and bad days, that it will always be that way and that it's simply part of her.

Emma is the character I relate to the most on Glee, and not just because of her red hair and Kate-Spade-meets-J-Crew fashion sense. While I don't have OCD, I do have PTSD and the battle with mental health is similar. There's the stigma not only with people in general but with yourself. Accepting that the diagnosis is part of who you are is a challenge that threatens your identity and can shake your security of who you are. Even once you come to terms with it, there are times when it feels like it controls your life, which generally only exacerbates the symptoms, leading to a spiral that can be hard to break. The moments of watching Emma really struggle with it, like the brief clip of her trying to stop herself from cleaning the coffee pot in "Yes/No" are the ones that resonate for me.

I think the show does a great job of balancing the humor of Emma's excessive cleaning (which is, in fact, funny) with the seriousness of what is behind it. It's made it easier to laugh at some of my own rather funny habits that are a manifestation of something more serious. They always say that being able to laugh at yourself is healthy and I've found that when I can do that, it's easier to have a good day.

Also, she has a killer wardrobe that I want very badly and would consider homicide as a matter of acquisition.

As a side note, I was preparing to post this and looked through my labels for the appropriate ones. I noticed that I had labels for fibromyalgia and medical, but not PTSD. I then realized that, despite my openness about my physical ailments, I've never talked about this. So, to be clear...I'm Jenn and I have PTSD. And now, I have a blog label for it too.