A few weeks ago, a girl in the Honors College came to me and asked for advice. I didn't really know her, but I stepped outside with her. She asked me if I knew anything about abortions. Oye.
So we sat outside and I let her tell me what was going on. She was several months along and had originally wanted to keep the baby, but now she wasn't sure. So I explained her options (keeping it, abortion, adoption) and talked her through the pros and cons to all of them. She is certain her religious Asian parents wouldn't let her stay in the house if they knew she was pregnant. I stressed to her that, whatever decision she made, she should make it for her since she would have to live with it for the rest of her life. She expressed her concern with God's opinion of her actions, which I told her was between her and God...and no one else.
She decided to get an abortion. Because she was so far along, she needed the two day procedure. I offered the house if she couldn't go home, but she was alright. We talked after it was all done and she said she felt okay...she expected to be in more pain and was disquieted, but she was doing better than she thought she would. She said her boyfriend had been with her and took her home since he had to get back to him mom. She was drinking hot chocolate and watching a movie. She thanked me for my impartiality and for being so calm and helpful and said she'd take me out for coffee. Sweet girl.
Today I get a call and a text from her in a panic. Her "boyfriend" had been openly cheating on her. Once they did her followup appointment to make sure she was okay, he dumped her...the same day. He hasn't paid for half of the procedure like he said he would and is being openly an asshole. She's angry and very depressed. She also wants revenge. I told her to put revenge aside for a moment and to go to the student counseling center. I told her not to leave until she had an appointment with a counselor or therapist. I reminded her that her first priority had to be getting herself okay and she could deal with him later.
This girl breaks my heart on so many levels. She couldn't talk to her family, she is terrified that God hates her or will punish her, that she won't be able to have kids later on, that she might ruin her life and now she's dealing with an asshole of a boyfriend of five years. She's depressed and confused and lacks a support network to really help her. I hope she follows through with the counseling. This might go down as one of the most difficult times in her life, but it just might give her an opportunity to find her own strength.
At least I hope so.
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