The most recent one is interesting. I won't go into details, but basically perception of my interaction with another group is so very different from the way that I see myself within that group that it threw me for a loop. Particularly because, while I know the characterization was intended as a compliment, it's not a set of attributes that I usually see myself as having or, perhaps more importantly, am interested in having. It's not a role I have a desire to play and make no effort to fulfill that role, yet that is how I am perceived.
My initial reaction was to be insulted, however I've put that aside since it was intended to be insulting. Instead, I'm trying to examine my actions rather than my motives to see if I can figure out what led to this particular perception, which I know will lead to frustration on my part in the future, as well as how to change it.
Kind of threw me off in the process, though.
Wow. Sometimes those off cuff perceptions throw the mind twisting in thought. Yours is a healthy reaction, compared to the societal knee jerk we commonly see. :>
ReplyDeleteCould you teach me how to do that?
Brett- sure, make a lot of mistakes and get burned a bunch. It's a great way to learn!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I try really hard to see things from outside of myself whenever possible. It leads to long pauses in difficult conversations while I try to consider answers before giving them, but it helps keep you from saying things you can't take back. A couple of mantras - a friend once said to me that if you can take something two ways and one of them is insulting, take it the other way. Also, when people are confronted with being wrong, they would rather be angry than admit it. So when I get angry, I first check to see if I'm angry for a good reason or because I'm wrong and my pride is hurt. That helps with foot-in-mouth disease a lot.
Examine yourself and your motivations even more than you do others. It's the only way to grow.