We left New York Sunday night at 8 p.m. Around 4 a.m. on Tuesday, we pulled in to my parents' house in Shawnee. Loooooooong drive. Indy did great, managed to survive the entire drive despite my refusal to feed him and his tiny little space in the back seat (most of the back seat was luggage). Dalton also kicked butt. That little boy is not even 6 months old and he's traveled via car to New York and back. While teething. Kid's a pro. Well, more likely, he's an Eiland (no matter what his surname) since we are all champ travelers from infancy.
Since being here, I've inventoried my dad's shop, acquired about a dozen mosquito bites, remembered the joys of country living (specifically, naked hot tubbing in the middle of the day), and driven around town to see what has changed. I haven't lived here for 12 years, twice as long as I did live here, but it was nice to poke around the town. While driving downtown (we have a historic downtown that is both beautiful and depressing), the bat signal flashed from a window (seriously!) and I discovered that my town has a comic book shop. I went it, naturally, and they also sell used books. I found a bunch of Nora Roberts, which I will be acquiring, as well as a few gaming books I want to pick up. I will be back!
Mostly I've been decompressing. I'll start tackling my Honors Thesis next week as well as beginning to finalize arrangements for the next stage of moving, which happens in August. I have people to see. But right now, it's nice to relax (though it is weird living in my sister's old bedroom).
Friday, May 25, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Learning From Our Elders
Today, my Grandma Jeanne called from California. She and I are pen pals and normally write letters. But today she called to say she got my most recent letter and that, though she knew it must have been hard, she was proud of me for walking away from something I didn't think was going to work and for trusting myself.
My grandmother has been married twice. The first time was to my grandfather, with whom she had four sons. He left when my dad was 14, leaving my grandmother with 4 sons between 7 and 14 to raise on her own. And she did, rather fantastically.
The second time was to a man I remember, but his name eludes me (that should say something). It was brief. I don't know the details since I was a child, but I know he was not a good man in the end.
For the last 20 years or so, my grandmother has been dating Roy. Roy is a good man. Grandma seems to like that he has his own house that she can send him to when he bothers her. They go camping and have joint parental custody of a German Shepherd named Sadie, and generally seem to enjoy each other a great deal. But it's clear to everyone that she has no desire to get married again.
Of her four sons, one of them is divorced. My Uncle Thomas' divorce was the example of a civil divorce and he and his wife, my Aunt Cindy, stay in close contact as they raise their two children. Thomas remarried a few years ago to a lovely woman who is now part of their - slightly odd - family.
I am the only divorced grandchild, but most of them are under 18 still, so there's time. Her parents were married forever.
Basically, my grandmother has a lot reasons not to trust marriage. But more than that, I think she is proud of me for not making a mistake she did - of knowing something was a bad idea and going through with it anyway. I think she wants me to get married (she loves great-grandbabies, having two already) and wants me to be happy and have a family, but she never wants me to suffer like she did.
My Grandma Claudia, who passed in December, was practically a saint. My sister and I said repeatedly during that time that she died without anyone being able to say a negative word about her. Grandma Jeanne is less of a saint...and I think I'm going to learn a lot more from her as an adult.
My grandmother has been married twice. The first time was to my grandfather, with whom she had four sons. He left when my dad was 14, leaving my grandmother with 4 sons between 7 and 14 to raise on her own. And she did, rather fantastically.
The second time was to a man I remember, but his name eludes me (that should say something). It was brief. I don't know the details since I was a child, but I know he was not a good man in the end.
For the last 20 years or so, my grandmother has been dating Roy. Roy is a good man. Grandma seems to like that he has his own house that she can send him to when he bothers her. They go camping and have joint parental custody of a German Shepherd named Sadie, and generally seem to enjoy each other a great deal. But it's clear to everyone that she has no desire to get married again.
Of her four sons, one of them is divorced. My Uncle Thomas' divorce was the example of a civil divorce and he and his wife, my Aunt Cindy, stay in close contact as they raise their two children. Thomas remarried a few years ago to a lovely woman who is now part of their - slightly odd - family.
I am the only divorced grandchild, but most of them are under 18 still, so there's time. Her parents were married forever.
Basically, my grandmother has a lot reasons not to trust marriage. But more than that, I think she is proud of me for not making a mistake she did - of knowing something was a bad idea and going through with it anyway. I think she wants me to get married (she loves great-grandbabies, having two already) and wants me to be happy and have a family, but she never wants me to suffer like she did.
My Grandma Claudia, who passed in December, was practically a saint. My sister and I said repeatedly during that time that she died without anyone being able to say a negative word about her. Grandma Jeanne is less of a saint...and I think I'm going to learn a lot more from her as an adult.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
And the President Makes Me Proud
So today, President Obama officially supported same-sex marriage. I'm on his mailing list and received this message:
| Jenn -- Today, I was asked a direct question and gave a direct answer: I believe that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry. I hope you'll take a moment to watch the conversation, consider it, and weigh in yourself on behalf of marriage equality: http://my.barackobama.com/ I've always believed that gay and lesbian Americans should be treated fairly and equally. I was reluctant to use the term marriage because of the very powerful traditions it evokes. And I thought civil union laws that conferred legal rights upon gay and lesbian couples were a solution. But over the course of several years I've talked to friends and family about this. I've thought about members of my staff in long-term, committed, same-sex relationships who are raising kids together. Through our efforts to end the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, I've gotten to know some of the gay and lesbian troops who are serving our country with honor and distinction. What I've come to realize is that for loving, same-sex couples, the denial of marriage equality means that, in their eyes and the eyes of their children, they are still considered less than full citizens. Even at my own dinner table, when I look at Sasha and Malia, who have friends whose parents are same-sex couples, I know it wouldn't dawn on them that their friends' parents should be treated differently. So I decided it was time to affirm my personal belief that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry. I respect the beliefs of others, and the right of religious institutions to act in accordance with their own doctrines. But I believe that in the eyes of the law, all Americans should be treated equally. And where states enact same-sex marriage, no federal act should invalidate them. |
I've been watching responses from bloggers and news outlets. I've heard responses from friends. Here's what I know - I've always supported same-sex marriage because it seems like a no brainer to me that all people who are citizens should be treated the same. I am incredibly proud of President Obama's stance. Even if it was a calculated political move (in which case I'm also impressed by the shrewdness), it's an important move. The presidency may not have the legal authority to make same-sex marriage legal, but the president's words mean a lot to this country, and in this case, a lot to a portion of this country who is currently in the struggle for what is a basic freedom taken for granted, and exploited and abused, by many.
Well done, Mr. President.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Saying Good-Bye to Psych of Violence
Today was my last Psychology of Violence class. We did our group presentations on historically significant acts of violence. Our group did the Attack on Pearl Harbor (which I titled "A Date That Will Live in Infamy") and I think it went very well. We had one member who didn't send in slides and I was late for class because he was emailing me asking me if he could send stuff in....20 minutes before class. He never sent me anything and I pointed out to him that he had plenty of time to speak up if he needed help. He also didn't show up to class until the very end. But I spoke to the professor, who is utterly reasonable, and she allowed us to just present without him without the loss of points.
One of the groups did the murders of Tupac and Biggie...and it was fantastic. They did a great job at both describing the series of events that led to the East Coast vs West Coast feud as well as detailing the effects that make the event historically significant. They talked about the atmosphere in LA at the time and how two unsolved, but very public, murders fed the existing problems with the LAPD and the potential government involvement. It was a really fascinating presentation.
Unfortunately, less fascinating was the group who did a collection of events, some which were less historically relevant. They used the Rodney King beatings (which is historically relevant) but they tried to tie it to Trayvon Martin and say that these were both examples of white cops beating up black people. The professor corrected them since the Trayvon situation wasn't a cop and the situation isn't unique, so it's not historically significant.
The other one I saw (I missed the first one) was on the VA Tech shooting. Fascinating stuff, especially considering that the shooter was apparently insane. The video he sent to the police was pure crazy talk. It was a cool way to end the class.
For those who are interested in some of the stuff that we discussed in this class, the professor has a youtube channel (which I think I've mentioned before). I'm not sure how long it will be active, but there's great stuff there if you want to check it out.
One of the groups did the murders of Tupac and Biggie...and it was fantastic. They did a great job at both describing the series of events that led to the East Coast vs West Coast feud as well as detailing the effects that make the event historically significant. They talked about the atmosphere in LA at the time and how two unsolved, but very public, murders fed the existing problems with the LAPD and the potential government involvement. It was a really fascinating presentation.
Unfortunately, less fascinating was the group who did a collection of events, some which were less historically relevant. They used the Rodney King beatings (which is historically relevant) but they tried to tie it to Trayvon Martin and say that these were both examples of white cops beating up black people. The professor corrected them since the Trayvon situation wasn't a cop and the situation isn't unique, so it's not historically significant.
The other one I saw (I missed the first one) was on the VA Tech shooting. Fascinating stuff, especially considering that the shooter was apparently insane. The video he sent to the police was pure crazy talk. It was a cool way to end the class.
For those who are interested in some of the stuff that we discussed in this class, the professor has a youtube channel (which I think I've mentioned before). I'm not sure how long it will be active, but there's great stuff there if you want to check it out.
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