I am Rogue

One of the challenges of fibromyalgia, for me, is that there are days when it hurts to touch anything. It's like all the protective coating on my hands has been stripped away and they are made of raw nerves. Every act is excruciating and most materials are painful. These are the days which are most frustrating. Whlile my brain is awake and alert, there's very little I can do - books hurt to touch, knitting needles and yarn are painful...even my phone causes shooting pain.

Quite by accident over the winter I learned that one pair of gloves that I own aren't painful to wear. More than that, they are thin enough that I have decent tactile response and I can use my phone while wearing them. They are vintage suede, black, and gauntlet-length and wide at the top, so they don't rub against my skin. If I wear them when my hands hurt, I get some relief from the pain. It's not complete and there are some things that are too painful no matter what I try, but I can function. And on those days, functioning is enough.

While experiencing one of those days while in the presence of the boyfriend, I commented that I was like Rogue - I needed gloves to touch anything. We both agreed this was funny and appropriate, so it has become shorthand for this kind of day.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm Rogue."

Much more empowering than "I can't touch anything without gloves" and always manages to make me smile. So if you ask how I'm doing, and I tell you I am Rogue, these are not delusions of comic book greatness. Just shorthand that amuses me and makes the oddity of me wearing gloves often funny.