I know what people are trying to say when this conversation happens. They're trying to say that they don't want to raise a daughter who waits around for a man to come along and save her from her life. I get that. But that seems to ignore a couple of points about Disney films. Since I can't tell someone how to parent their children (Being an Adult Rule #5), I can make some general points here so it will stop going over and over in my mind.
1. Disney films should not be raising your child. Your children will develop their ideas of gender roles and life goals based, in large part, on the example that the adults in their lives provide. Sure, the media plays some part, but I see this as a jumping off for discussion, rather than a lesson in itself. Watching the Golden Era, which is especially fraught with Beleaguered Princess Who Comes Across Terrible Circumstances (usually in the form of an older, jealous woman) And Must Be Saved By True Love's Kiss, I wonder why the response isn't to watch the movie and talk about it. A lot of movies made before our own have context that has to be explained (the black face numbers in musicals from Hollywood's Golden Age are a particular point). As a parent, you provide the context for everything your kid watches or reads.
2. Most Disney animated features are based on fairy tales, which aren't known for the "ladies take the lead" attitude. Some are (Mulan totally is) and Disney tends to follow through with that. But what a neat way to introduce classical fairy tales to young children and to discuss societal norms from different eras. It's a jumping off point that is accessible, and honestly, are fun to watch.
3. There are beautiful messages throughout Disney. Female empowerment isn't an obvious one until some of the Disney Renaissance and the post-Pixar era, but it's also not the only message worth looking for. I would love to see more people enter into tough situations with a joyful attitude (Snow White, Cinderella - this is a mainstay of Disney ladies) and that being yourself, even when others judge you for it, is better than pretending to be someone you're not (Belle, Eugene from Tangled - boys get to teach us lessons to!). How many Disney characters have to push outside their comfort zone, either by choice or by circumstance, and grow because of it (Rapunzel, Snow White, Mulan)? And don't forget the importance of not judging people on appearance or social class (Dwarves, Merekat, Scary Guys in a Pub, Frogs).
4. Nature is beautiful. You will never think of the American outdoors the same way after you watch Pocahontas. The ocean goes from being a large, kinda scary thing to a stunning array of color and life in The Little Mermaid. And it's possible that The Lion King is as close to the Serengeti most people will ever get (or ever want to get). Walt loved nature, which is why there are so many Disney films (non-animated) about the glories of outdoors.
There are more, some broad concepts and some narrow ones, but the point stands - movies, Disney and otherwise, will be to your children what you make them. Such a vehemence against something designed for entertainment keeps you and your children from enjoying the beauty that comes from it. I'm not a parent yet, but it's something I'm preparing for and I know that Disney films, animated and non, will be a part of my children's lives. If nothing else, they remind you, film after film, that dreams are worth something.
